dreams

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams,” which is a quote that I have on a sign in my room (I’ve brought it home and to school with me), mainly because I look to it as a sign of encouragement (no pun intended) as I live my life. As I am becoming quite aware of my career mortality (one can’t be a college student forever, you know), I’m still trying to figure out where to go from here. It’s easy to confidently go in the direction of your dreams, but when you’re still not quite sure what direction those dreams are headed in, things get quite complicated.

When I started as a fresh-faced Freshman at DePauw three years ago this August, I was so confident of where I was headed: a Music Education degree, a job at a high school hopefully somewhere in the Chicago area and I was set. Unfortunately, almost all of my other experiences at DePauw kind of derailed those ideas. This isn’t a bashing of DePauw, by any means, but I have to say that, over the past three years, my plans changed. All of a sudden, I’ve started wondering if teaching music is what I want to do as soon as I leave DePauw in May of 2011. Don’t get me wrong, I know I want to teach sometime, but I don’t want to start from the get-go if my heart isn’t in it; that’s not fair to me or to any of the students I might teach.

So, where does that leave me? I just spent the past three years of my life preparing for a degree that I don’t think I’m ready to use. Where do I go? What do I do? The funny thing is, the only person that can answer these questions are yours truly; I don’t know if that means graduate school (for music or otherwise), or to start working (where?) or to take  time off and travel  (and God only knows if I have the resources for that). A friend of mine described ending college as a very sudden, almost deceitful experience; basically, here’s all of your closest friends, you sit out in the sun for two hours and then it’s over. You don’t have lunch with them, or see them on a regular basis; sure, you’ll try to keep in contact, but, everyone knows, if you see that person significantly less than you did previously, that the impetus to keep up with them really isn’t there anymore, which, to be frank, is quite depressing to think of.

This is what I could come up with during my summer break; being absolutely confused and bewildered about my future and practically moping about it. Boy, this is shaping up to be a good one; hopefully, I’ll have another post in before a week hiatus for the very special Teen Service Week.

Best,
MJH

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hiatus

Here I am, three months having passed since my last post, in total disbelief of the fact that I’ve neglected this page for so long. When I started this blog, I commented that I hoped I would keep up regularly with this blog and not let it fall by the way side. Let’s call this a fresh start to Musings of an Irish-American, as everything seems to be changing in my life.

Spring semester at DePauw ended more with a whimper than a bang. Before I knew it finals week had come and gone and, all of a sudden, I was moving out the Fiji house and saying goodbye to all of my senior friends who were starting real life. In this period of time, I was mainly occupied with copious amounts of work to be completed before the end of the year, including my student teaching application for the Spring 2011 semester. However, my time was also occupied by a new person in my life, who, since my last post, has “officially” become my girlfriend. Labels aside, if anyone had told me this time last year that I would be with this amazing individual, I probably would have laughed heartily in your face and referred you to the nearest mental facility. I’m excited  to see where things go in this relationship, and I’m sure there will be plenty to write about here (if I’m not too busy spending time with her :-))

Since coming home for summer, I’ve been working at George’s Ice Cream and Sweets in the Andersonville neighborhood, scooping ice cream on a semi-regular basis for what money I can possibly save this summer. Things have gone quite well there, working with new people and interacting with the many dessert-hungry customers that come in through the door.

But back to changes: it seems like everything’s been changing around me without my permission (funny how that works, isn’t it?) During the course of Spring semester, we were informed that our amazing choral director, Gabriel Crouch (of former King’s Singer and Louisiana trip fame) would be leaving DePauw to become the director of choirs at Princeton University. This made the rest of the second semester somewhat depressing, as we realized over the course of the semester that each rehearsal and performance leading to the end of the semester would be our last with him. As difficult as it was to say goodbye to him, I wish him all of the best in his pursuits and success in his new job.

I then found out about a month before the end of the semester that the pastor at St. Paul the Apostle Church in Greencastle was being relocated to a parish in Indianapolis. He’s been the pastor (and the only priest) at St. Paul’s during my time at DePauw, so having to say goodbye to someone who I have looked toward for spiritual guidance and support for the past three years was also not easy.

Finally, all of my senior friends had to go up and graduate on me, leaving me as a rising senior at DePauw. I knew it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier. It also made me very aware of how little time I have myself left at DePauw, and what I need to do to start planning for the future. As inconvenient as it may seem, I guess we all have to live up to the fact that time moves on without our consent, which means you can either live up to it and start living your life, or you can try to fight it and be miserable. I think I better start living.

Happy summer; hopefully I’ll be back soon.

-MJH